I am replete with stamina in finding out every single fact I can about this whole infidelity.

“I am replete with stamina in finding out every single fact I can about this whole affair.
Yet, I think, do I want to pull that thread? 
Do I want to unleash the truth, unravel deceit, and kill reality as I´ve known it? 
It is irreparable, if I do, from the moment we met until now. 
It is long. 
If I discover too much that is false about what I thought my past was, 
Time will be skewed even further. 
I already have a poor connection with the present. 
Example: I have no sense of what day it is. It´s better.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

loneliness

“Loneliness is the worst of all tortures, the worst of all sufferings.”

Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

lies, punyeta!

No more lies Jonathan. Let us not delude and deceive ourselves, we both know that you still love Emmeline so much. 

Sabi mo nga your love for her is pure and eternal. That kind of devotion wont go and fade in a matter of days, it will take time or it wont fade that easy. Mahal mo pa rin sya. Period. 

Rest assured, Im not angry or mad. Im trying to accept it with much grace and dignity that my husband is deeply inlove with EmmelineXXX. At the end of the day, ako ung sobrang aggrieved and betrayed. Pagod na ako kaka-away sa inyong dalawa, it’s a lost cause before it even begun.

Please be fair to me. Don’t use me. Ive been hurt so much. Enough na. Maawa ka naman sa akin na. Pagod na ako. Kung di lang dahil kay E, I have disappeared already. Give me time and space to be away from you. Pagod na ako talaga.

pagod na puso

My heart is so broken up to pieces. My soul is nowhere to be found. My pain is eating me alive. 

Ayoko na. Pagod na ako magkunyari na masaya and okay, yet deep down, im mourning my life. We both know you still love EmmelineXXX until forever. Tama na.

Pwede bang humingi ng space and time to heal?

promises are made to be broken

i just listen to you when you say "nagbago na po talaga ako"
i dont know if I believe you or not,
i am so "i dont know" and "i dont care anymore" mode
i dont want to expect anything from you anymore
i had had enough.

and then you say "sorry po talaga sa lahat ng nagawa ko, i'm praying nman po eh. at sino po bang lalaki gusto ng ganitong sitwasyon po."

i believed you last month, last week but it turned out not good
everything you said and all your promises to me were all lies

nobody wants to be in this situation and i wont wish this to happen to anyone
nobody wants to be betrayed and to be lied to
nobody wants to be deceived
no wife wants to be laugh at by the kerida because the wife is too foolish to believe everything the husband says

you tell me you love me but you love her most

i am so tired. sagad na. i had had enough.

hello world!

its been such a looooong while =)