the desolation

don't leave a hormonally-impaired, stubborn girl alone. don't leave her while she's having a mad craving to be with you.

don't mind her senseless talk, interrupted by her even more absurd remarks.

talk to her while she's half-asleep, her eyes transfixed on the ceiling, watching the shadows play tricks on her head.

talk to her how your day was, talk about the weather, yes, the weather. while it's a humid monday night and the sky is empty save for a quarter-moon and a lone star.

try to imagine her with her hair a splash of ink on her pillows, her eyes intense pools of yearning.

don't ask her how she is, or what she's doing, or why.

don't take her hand, don't touch her gently and never, ever give her reasons to hope.

stop telling her how you miss her.

stop being inane. stop staring. stop smiling, please.

stop when she tells you to do so. (but you should know damn well what that means.)

now, close your eyes and stroke her hair.

never ask her if she misses you because she loves you forever.

just be quiet, sadness has never treated her this cruel.

the sun is rising and everything is washed in all shades of blue as a silly girl opens her eyes from a wicked sleep.

dead tired

and sleepy, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

joke time!!!

Ei guys! Joke time muna tayo kahit corny.. hehehe..

* batA nALunOd,.. nAtaGpuAn baSa!!!!

* dalawang kalbo,nag-sabunutan.

* Capt. Hook dumaan sa Quiapo, pinirata!!!

* Palaisdaan, nasunog!!!

* Tahanang Walang Hagdan, inakyat!!!

* Bakla sumali sa away, napasubo!!!

* Bagong tuli nagyabang, lumaki ang ulo!!!

* Unanong madre, napagkamalang penguin!!!

* Bulag nakapatay, nagdilim daw ang paningin!!!

* Iceman nanood ng porno, nag-init!!!

* Tindera ng suka, tinoyo!!!

* Teacher nagkamali, tinuruan ng leksyon!!!

* Lolo naakusahang nang-rape, pero sakorte....biktima ayaw tumayo!!!

* Eroplano nag-crash, lahat ng pasahero namatay sabi ng mga survivor!!!

* Basurero nagsampa ng kaso, binasura!!!

* Dahil may reklamo, eskwelahan ng mga bingi nag-noise barrage!!!

* Tubero, nagka-tulo!!!

* Lalaki natagpuang pugot ang ulo,inaalam pa kung buhay!!!

* Barbero tumestigo sa krimen, ayaw paniwalaan!!!

* Misis ng photographer, nakunan!!!

* Tindera ng tubig, namatay sa uhaw!!!

the modern life

Those who swear this is not true about their lives, raise your hands... No hands?

nothing can stop us now

soft as a rainbow
like stardust and moonglow
i see the love in your eyes
like autumn leaves falling
and the first call of morning
it came to my surprise

true love calls just once in a lifetime
why should we wait
when now is the right time?
nothing can stop this love we're making
nothing can stand in our way
nothing can block this road we've taken
nothing can stop us now

the joy of surrender
so strong yet so tender
i give my heart to you
you know you can trust me
and that's how it must be

no matter what we do
faithful friends and lovers forever
right to the end we'll always be together
nothing can stop this love we're making
nothing can stand in our way
nothing can block this road we've taken
nothing can stop us now

when love comes sweetly to your door
embrace completely
what your soul is longing for
nothing can stop this love we're making
nothing can stand in our way
nothing can block this road we've taken
nothing can stop us now

nothing can stop us now ;p

Aunt May says, “You must be ready to put her before yourself. Are you ready to do that Peter?”

Spiderman 3.

The movie is so memorable it will forever be part of what I have become today (in so short a time) and what I will be in the future.

There’s this scene between Aunt May and Peter talking about marriage, settling down and the future wife. Aunt May told Peter Parker, “You must be ready to put her before yourself. Are you ready to do that Peter?”, Aunt May also said that a man needs to put her wife above all things when he marries the woman.

Are you willing to do that Best? Would you put me above all things? My heart says you would ;p

why do people blog anyway?

to vent out. to express emotions they couldn't say face to face. to rant until all you can feel is emptiness. and then reread your entries and shake your head in embarrassment and amusement because as they say, para kang sinasapian ng third force.

eh ako, bakit ako nagboblog?

for the same reasons given above. i am more of an emotional blogger. mas mababasa mo sa mga entries ko kung ano ang nararamdaman ko at that time. masaya, magulo, pero madalas malungkot. ewan ko ba, sadness makes me feel more expressive. siguro kasi mas nakakapagisip ako pag malungkot ako.

pero iba ngayon. sobrang saya ko, dahil…

dahil sa kanya... ;p

dahil sa baby ko.

Ang sarap mabuhay ano? =)

Best, salamat.

simple life

tagged again =) and i just love answering these questions just for the fun and joy of it.

1. What are the things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play?

- asking silly, stupid, obvious questions just for the heck of it
- talking to myself, just audible enough to the next person to prompt him or her to ask what i just said and replying "Nothing"
- reading, then laughing out so loud when i read something funny and totally ignoring people when they ask me why i did so
(basically, these three mean i enjoy annoying / freaking out people.

If there's no one to annoy/freak out, these two apply:
- sleeping, and sleeping some more
- eating, and eating some more

2. What lowers your stress / blood pressure / anxiety level?

- malling alone in Glorietta while talking to myself aloud, which freaks people a lot (just don't make me sing aloud, that would be freakier)
- ranting out to people and making sure that by the end of the day, they are as pissed of as i am
- stalking people or people's friendster and blog(see, i love attention-seeking anonymity)
- sleeping, and sleeping some more
- eating, and eating some more

see, i have always considered my self to be a simple, low maintenance person…that is, if i feel like it. hahaha.

on attitude

when we believe we’re right , we shut everything else that may disprove that we are indeed wrong.

and then maturity and reason sets in and we realize that we need to broaden our horizons and learn to accept that others have a point and they can be right and we were simply just wrong.

if maturity sets in.

hay, nakaka-asar kasi talaga. PMDP anyone? grrrrr. hmmmm, cathy, its all about in the attitude, okay.


"I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my successes or failures, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitude is right, there is no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me."

-Charles R. Swindoll, American writer and clergyman

sweet home alabama

“What do you want to be married to me for?”
“So I can kiss you anytime I want…”

while waiting for the client’s schedules and pertinent documents to vouch and having nothing better things to do… i watched Sweet Home Alabama.

just months ago marriage for me is a far fetched thing, an unknown. but things are slowly beginning to change, drastically. and, i am neither worried nor afraid, i am actually excited and loving the thought of spending the rest of my life with someone i truly love.

.

whoaa! hinay-hinay lang =)

.

.

June 09, 2007, Thursday

nobody knows it but me

things are really different when he isn't here. i started and about to end the day feeling extremely sluggish and sleepy. to say that i miss him is an understatement, that, coupled with a mild depression make for a terribly unproductive day.

as the hours go by, i'll be off to a deep reverie but i can't seem to write what i think. on pen (or the keyboard, or my keypad) the words seem silly if not contrived. i can’t articulate nor make these thoughts tangible --- I'm totally at a loss for words. there are many things i want to express but the words wont come out the way i wanted to.

over and over, i've been playing these two particular songs. if anything comes close to these thoughts now, let Tony Rich Project’s Nobody Knows It But Me and Cueshe’s Can’t Let You Go fill my lips.

best, balik ka na Manila please.

pangako ko

Meron nga bang scientific studies na nagpapatunay na chemical reaction lang ang ating nararamdaman sa ating mga katawan kapag na i-inlove? Totoo kayang chemicals lang sa katawan ang nagdudulot ng ganitong pakiramdam? Sadya ba’ng reaction lang sa katawan ang mga kantang naririnig at parang isinulat sa kasaysayan ng inyong pagmamahalan? Kung bakit ang mga taong umiiibig ay parang nawawala sa kanyang sarili; kung bakit ang feeling ay naglalakad sa ulap, ang araw ay minamarkahan ng bawat napakasayang alaala, ang bawat sandali ay nagiging yugto ng kwentong punong-puno ng lambing at kahulugan. Bakit nga ba sa ngalan ng pag-ibig lahat ng hindi akalaing kayang gawin ay nagagawa? Humahaba ang pasensya…lumalakas ang loob? At higit sa lahat bakit ang saya-saya? Oo nga, bakit ang saya-saya? – from the movie, Now That I have You

i didn’t know i was an extremely jealous person – until now. now that i have you, now that i have found love, now that i have learned how to give my all for the one i truly love. but i always keep that jealousy in me...not letting that person know what i really feel. keeping it till i burst into pieces. who ever invented that emotion, curse him. i hate the emotion.

i have no one to blame but myself. ang hirap. sana lagi na lang masaya dahil mahal naman kita. pero bakit ganun. ewan ko. ang alam ko i truly love you kaya ganito ako. "i love you" have been the most mis-used and abused word for me nowadays. i know i mean it and i am most sincere everytime those words were uttered. for me, i leave the rest to the person on how he would reciprocate to it.

tonight i really ached. ang bigat ng gabi ko at naramdaman ko talaga na may nag-iba sa pagkatao ko. sa ikli ng panahong nagkakilala at nagkasama tayo sya naman laki ng naging epekto mo sa buhay ko. mababaliw ata ako pag nawala ka. pero hindi ata tama na pasalamatan kita, so i will make you a promise instead. na simula ngayong gabi, at sa mga susunod pang mga gabi at araw, i will build on my aches so i will be braver in my dreams and actions. mahal lang siguro talaga kita, best.


June 03, 2007, Sunday

ang totoo

minsan, ang hirap magsabi ng truth. promise.

like for example, may magtatanong sa iyo:

"may problema ka ba?"

simpleng tanong. pero pano mo sasabihin sa taong yun na oo, meron, ikaw ang problema ko. hirap di ba? hahaba pa yun eh. e di quiet ka na lang.

hay. eh kung ganito:

"okay ka lang?"

syempre hindi, kasi nga sya problema mo. pero dahil ayaw mo mahalata nya, o kaya natatakot ka na baka may magbago, e di quiet ka pa din.

"oo, okay lang ako."

bakit nga ba mahirap magsabi ng kung ano nasa isip mo?

kung ikaw ay katulad ko, malamang ganito sabihin mo:

"kasi ayoko sya masaktan and mahirapan."

"kasi ayokong masaktan."

"kasi hahaba lang, wala rin naman pupuntahan."

in short, takot ka sa rejection. so quiet ka na lang. tulad ko. quiet na lang.

The end.


Sana minsan di na ako matakot magalit.


June 02, 2007, Saturday

happy thoughts

i've always suspected that i'd fall in love in a big way, and i did...

i'm glad it's you...

oh, i meant you.. :D

Happy first monthsarry, best =)