Friday, May 30, 2008
What is despair, except a quiet secret knowledge that you can do nothing. It is a relentless, unmoving flailing against an unforeseen enemy—yourself, deep in the paralysis that embraces you. You have no idea what keeps you here, in this wretched place of such common sadness, only that you know it is there, and you have no power over it. Despair is a name I give my demons: they sleep with me, and they wake me every single morning, and they embrace me, and in their depraved arms, I sleep like a baby lulled into sweet drowning.
Monday, May 19, 2008
14 Rules of the real world
Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.
Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.
Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.
(www.albinoblacksheep.com)
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.
Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.
Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.
(www.albinoblacksheep.com)
Thursday, May 01, 2008
...
isang taon na mula noong nangyari ang mga nangyari
i have no regrets Best, i only have gratefulness for everything we have now
i should be writting something dramatic, sweet and happy...but i just can't
i feel too empty and lonely and tired.
pasensya na ha. an layo mo eh... i badly want to hug you =(
i have no regrets Best, i only have gratefulness for everything we have now
i should be writting something dramatic, sweet and happy...but i just can't
i feel too empty and lonely and tired.
pasensya na ha. an layo mo eh... i badly want to hug you =(
.
happy anniversary Mahal ko.
empty
literally.
couldn't write anything.
just plain -------
nothingness inside the brain.
great thought?
couldn't put in words.
like stagnating in the core of the earth.
hating it.
but couldn't budge from the spot.
trying to create.
but it all ends up ---
empty.
frustrating.
but still...
nothing happening
hollowness screaming from inside the chest---
hollow echoes of nothingness.
emptiness rooting deeply into the core.
sucking all the juices that would have helped out ...
to create..
to produce..
to make something out of nothing...
drinking up all that's left.
trying to get out of it.
yet, still can't get away.
it won't stop running down deep.
ruining.
ruining.
ruining what's left.
when will the race to the bottom end?
when there's nothing left?
nothing left
left to hold on to?
left to cling to?
don't slip away.
emptiness eating away everything.
eating away
till there's no more
till there's nothing left
till
even
emptiness
has
been
eaten
by
itself.empty.
couldn't write anything.
just plain -------
nothingness inside the brain.
great thought?
couldn't put in words.
like stagnating in the core of the earth.
hating it.
but couldn't budge from the spot.
trying to create.
but it all ends up ---
empty.
frustrating.
but still...
nothing happening
hollowness screaming from inside the chest---
hollow echoes of nothingness.
emptiness rooting deeply into the core.
sucking all the juices that would have helped out ...
to create..
to produce..
to make something out of nothing...
drinking up all that's left.
trying to get out of it.
yet, still can't get away.
it won't stop running down deep.
ruining.
ruining.
ruining what's left.
when will the race to the bottom end?
when there's nothing left?
nothing left
left to hold on to?
left to cling to?
don't slip away.
emptiness eating away everything.
eating away
till there's no more
till there's nothing left
till
even
emptiness
has
been
eaten
by
itself.empty.
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