Sunday, October 28, 2007
after insanity comes rationalization
"They say the answers we seek are almost always right there in front of us. And it's all just a matter of time and the proper perspective. Well, I've been looking at things from different angles, various vantage points. With any luck then, things will start falling into places any time now."
Love is the Answer
"A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, must empty ourselves..." - Mother Teresa
Love is a sacrifice.
Love will save this world. But if love is all it takes, then why is it so hard?
Once love is looked at in its truest sense, one can see how and why it should hurt so much. Love is a sacrifice. loving someone who loves you back is easy. But loving someone who isn't lovable is the true test.
There are many people in my life who haven't loved me back the way that i desired them to. friends. People who i considered close. Leaders I looked up to. People I invested my heart in. and to now see that there exists a lack of love between us... is really hard for me to understand.
To feel unloved is just something no one wants to feel. But the worst thing one can do in response to that is to stop loving back. To give up on them is the easier thing to do. But to love despite all odds allows you to soar to the highest of places.
It all comes back to sacrifice. a sacrifice of self is true love.
To love I must...
* Sacrifice my pride and my ego even if it means humiliation by the world's standards or losing some friends.
* Sacrifice "winning" the argument because peace should be my bigger desire.
* Sacrifice having the last word because speaking, writing, blogging, spreading negativity will only add disdain and coldness to my heart.
* Sacrifice my image (vanity) for the sake of Christ's image to be seen in me.
* Sacrifice being with someone if they do not bring me to Christ. (yes, this means breaking up with your boy/girlfriend. It will hurt but maybe it's your needed sacrifice.)
* Sacrifice being popular if it compromises what I stand for inside.
* Sacrifice all I have so others may receive even part.
* Sacrifice inconveniences and hardships just to know it is a way for me to be shaped and molded into a stronger person.
* Sacrifice complaining because I really have nothing to complain about.
* Sacrifice more because I have too much and there's more to be given!
Jesus loved us who rejected Him, who denounced and tortured Him. He loved us so much that even as we forgot Him, He remembered us. Through every second of His suffering, He offered us a love greater than all the whole world's love combined. His love is sacrifice.
So next time you love, if it hurts a little, make sure it only causes you to love harder. Shout "Thank you, Jesus!" when it hurts. For it is through that hurt that Jesus is allowing you to have a taste of what He lived when He loved, and thus... He is making you more like Him. To empty yourself, for love is the type of selflessness that will heal this world. It is through our sacrifice of self that all in this world may experience true love.
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." ~Mother Teresa
Love is a sacrifice.
Love will save this world. But if love is all it takes, then why is it so hard?
Once love is looked at in its truest sense, one can see how and why it should hurt so much. Love is a sacrifice. loving someone who loves you back is easy. But loving someone who isn't lovable is the true test.
There are many people in my life who haven't loved me back the way that i desired them to. friends. People who i considered close. Leaders I looked up to. People I invested my heart in. and to now see that there exists a lack of love between us... is really hard for me to understand.
To feel unloved is just something no one wants to feel. But the worst thing one can do in response to that is to stop loving back. To give up on them is the easier thing to do. But to love despite all odds allows you to soar to the highest of places.
It all comes back to sacrifice. a sacrifice of self is true love.
To love I must...
* Sacrifice my pride and my ego even if it means humiliation by the world's standards or losing some friends.
* Sacrifice "winning" the argument because peace should be my bigger desire.
* Sacrifice having the last word because speaking, writing, blogging, spreading negativity will only add disdain and coldness to my heart.
* Sacrifice my image (vanity) for the sake of Christ's image to be seen in me.
* Sacrifice being with someone if they do not bring me to Christ. (yes, this means breaking up with your boy/girlfriend. It will hurt but maybe it's your needed sacrifice.)
* Sacrifice being popular if it compromises what I stand for inside.
* Sacrifice all I have so others may receive even part.
* Sacrifice inconveniences and hardships just to know it is a way for me to be shaped and molded into a stronger person.
* Sacrifice complaining because I really have nothing to complain about.
* Sacrifice more because I have too much and there's more to be given!
Jesus loved us who rejected Him, who denounced and tortured Him. He loved us so much that even as we forgot Him, He remembered us. Through every second of His suffering, He offered us a love greater than all the whole world's love combined. His love is sacrifice.
So next time you love, if it hurts a little, make sure it only causes you to love harder. Shout "Thank you, Jesus!" when it hurts. For it is through that hurt that Jesus is allowing you to have a taste of what He lived when He loved, and thus... He is making you more like Him. To empty yourself, for love is the type of selflessness that will heal this world. It is through our sacrifice of self that all in this world may experience true love.
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." ~Mother Teresa
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things." -- Matthew 6:34
We can endure anything if we bear in mind that God is always with us -- in every action, word or decision. Isn't it comforting to know that we are never alone?
Sometimes, when we experience spiritual dryness, God is actually at work. In weakness, we are made strong, as the Bible says. Sometimes we also have mood swings that even when others try to uplift us, we couldn't help but worry. I have discovered an effective approach... when we feel like we're beginning to worry about things, let's start counting our blessings instead... with that, we tend to praise Him more. We never know, we've already forgotten about our own worries... we even smile... and we become more beautiful in God's eyes. Or we could think of others' problems instead, until we realize how lucky we are, making our problems seem insignificant.
There are also people around us who pull us down, judging us based on their own emotions or opinions. And we are affected sometimes, epecially when these people matter to us. Most of us dread judgement. But shouldn't we fear God's judgement above everything else? I guess judgement is human in nature. But it's all a matter of perspective, how we take them. Do we accept them as constructive criticism or not? Sometimes, other people simply put us down so they could feel good about themselves, and it's sad. Maybe they're here to help us widen our understanding, and lengthen our patience. All geared towards personal growth... Only God knows what truly is in our hearts, anyway.
Another one is the fear of attachment/detachment. We tend to be attached/detached to/from different worldly things, including our fellow men. Honestly, I still couldn't grasp the whole concept of detachment, unless maybe I experience it completely. But I guess, when we remind ourselves that everything in this world is temporary, and we know that we have done everything the best we could to enjoy and express our care and love for someone at a time given to us, we won't have any regrets. That's why we have memories... they teach us how to appreciate our blessings more.
I guess the whole point here is to stop worrying. "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things." -- Matthew 6:34. May we learn to face our fears. As wise men always say, no guts no glory. Maybe it's better to fall, learn and get up again, than to realize we haven't tried at all. So seize the day! Live by the moment! Enjoy God's blessings, for He has showered us with so much.
Pray.
Love!
Let's all focus on Him... and remember that He is always here.
Sometimes, when we experience spiritual dryness, God is actually at work. In weakness, we are made strong, as the Bible says. Sometimes we also have mood swings that even when others try to uplift us, we couldn't help but worry. I have discovered an effective approach... when we feel like we're beginning to worry about things, let's start counting our blessings instead... with that, we tend to praise Him more. We never know, we've already forgotten about our own worries... we even smile... and we become more beautiful in God's eyes. Or we could think of others' problems instead, until we realize how lucky we are, making our problems seem insignificant.
There are also people around us who pull us down, judging us based on their own emotions or opinions. And we are affected sometimes, epecially when these people matter to us. Most of us dread judgement. But shouldn't we fear God's judgement above everything else? I guess judgement is human in nature. But it's all a matter of perspective, how we take them. Do we accept them as constructive criticism or not? Sometimes, other people simply put us down so they could feel good about themselves, and it's sad. Maybe they're here to help us widen our understanding, and lengthen our patience. All geared towards personal growth... Only God knows what truly is in our hearts, anyway.
Another one is the fear of attachment/detachment. We tend to be attached/detached to/from different worldly things, including our fellow men. Honestly, I still couldn't grasp the whole concept of detachment, unless maybe I experience it completely. But I guess, when we remind ourselves that everything in this world is temporary, and we know that we have done everything the best we could to enjoy and express our care and love for someone at a time given to us, we won't have any regrets. That's why we have memories... they teach us how to appreciate our blessings more.
I guess the whole point here is to stop worrying. "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things." -- Matthew 6:34. May we learn to face our fears. As wise men always say, no guts no glory. Maybe it's better to fall, learn and get up again, than to realize we haven't tried at all. So seize the day! Live by the moment! Enjoy God's blessings, for He has showered us with so much.
Pray.
Love!
Let's all focus on Him... and remember that He is always here.
Monday, October 15, 2007
inday and dodong
Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!
Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself.
Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.
Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you'll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you've been wishing for to stay.
To my dodong, you know who you are =), i have already figured out what i want from life, that is to be by your side for as long as you want me, to heck with the rules. mwah!
Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself.
Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.
Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you'll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you've been wishing for to stay.
To my dodong, you know who you are =), i have already figured out what i want from life, that is to be by your side for as long as you want me, to heck with the rules. mwah!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
trust
as i was reading Genesis 18, where the stories of Abraham, his gift from God and his plea for Sodom are told, i reflected on prayers.
in this chapter, it shows how faithful and merciful our God is, considering bargains and proving everything is possible if we just trust in Him. He knows our deepest desires, and He will grant it in His own will, which is always the best.
when we say prayer, we usually think of requests. is this all there is when we talk to God? for me, praying is an intimate communication with Him, glorifying His name, thanking Him for all the countless blessings day by day, asking Him to guide me in everything i do so that i may live according to His will. when i look back on requests i made before, some of those turned out far from what i expected, and they all worked out for the best.
that's why i strongly disagree with the term "unanswered prayers". when God says "no", didn't He answer? God always answers. He listens and feels every joy and pain. it just happened that the answer was "no", or maybe "wait", but still, He listened. maybe we need to assess our requests. is it according to our will, or His? sometimes even that we can't figure out. maybe praying for discernment is a much better request.
there are times when we are still plagued by worries, fear and impatience, and we couldn't help but ask, or even blame, Him for things happening to us. but somewhere in the long train of thoughts, He answers, so profoundly, that we are left speechless. and we feel humbled. we feel someone truly listens, without judgement, rejection or abandonment. and we are loved.
in this chapter, it shows how faithful and merciful our God is, considering bargains and proving everything is possible if we just trust in Him. He knows our deepest desires, and He will grant it in His own will, which is always the best.
when we say prayer, we usually think of requests. is this all there is when we talk to God? for me, praying is an intimate communication with Him, glorifying His name, thanking Him for all the countless blessings day by day, asking Him to guide me in everything i do so that i may live according to His will. when i look back on requests i made before, some of those turned out far from what i expected, and they all worked out for the best.
that's why i strongly disagree with the term "unanswered prayers". when God says "no", didn't He answer? God always answers. He listens and feels every joy and pain. it just happened that the answer was "no", or maybe "wait", but still, He listened. maybe we need to assess our requests. is it according to our will, or His? sometimes even that we can't figure out. maybe praying for discernment is a much better request.
there are times when we are still plagued by worries, fear and impatience, and we couldn't help but ask, or even blame, Him for things happening to us. but somewhere in the long train of thoughts, He answers, so profoundly, that we are left speechless. and we feel humbled. we feel someone truly listens, without judgement, rejection or abandonment. and we are loved.
perfect love
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone
To have a deep soul relationship with another
Be loved thoroughly, and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says:
I want you to be satisfied, fulfilled, and content
With being loved by Me alone
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the best human relationship
That I have planned for you.
I want you to be united with another after you are united with Me
Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing,
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing
One that you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, trusting Me
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait.
That's all.
Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things
Others have gotten or that I've given them.
Don't look at the things you think you want.
You just keep looking off and up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than any you would dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready,
(I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time),
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me.
And this is the perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love.
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me,
To enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love
That I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly.
I am God.
Believe and be satisfied.
Forwarded by a friend. Thanks!
To have a deep soul relationship with another
Be loved thoroughly, and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says:
I want you to be satisfied, fulfilled, and content
With being loved by Me alone
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the best human relationship
That I have planned for you.
I want you to be united with another after you are united with Me
Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing,
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing
One that you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, trusting Me
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait.
That's all.
Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things
Others have gotten or that I've given them.
Don't look at the things you think you want.
You just keep looking off and up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than any you would dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready,
(I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time),
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me.
And this is the perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love.
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me,
To enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love
That I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly.
I am God.
Believe and be satisfied.
Forwarded by a friend. Thanks!
love
1 Corinthians 13
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
a reflection
Lord, thank you for this wonderful day, for giving me a chance to make up for my sins and to be enlightened by Your grace. I am a sinner who is not worthy of You, but still You shower me with Your blessings. You have made me see happiness even in the smallest things. For this, I am grateful.
Thank you for these words that have just recently opened my heart....
Love for Enemies (Matthew 5)
43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Lord, I am the enemy. Please forgive me for I have hurt special people in so many ways. Friendship has taught me many things that I realized how much I have really lost. I had let anger, pride and hate take over me. I did not listen to what You were telling my heart to do. For this Lord, I suffer. And I deserve it. I ask that I may be forgiven. It does not matter how long, for I am still here.
Lead us not into temptation -- away from anger, pride, hate, jealousy and vengeance. I lift up everything to you, Lord. May Your will be done.
Thank you for these words that have just recently opened my heart....
Love for Enemies (Matthew 5)
43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Lord, I am the enemy. Please forgive me for I have hurt special people in so many ways. Friendship has taught me many things that I realized how much I have really lost. I had let anger, pride and hate take over me. I did not listen to what You were telling my heart to do. For this Lord, I suffer. And I deserve it. I ask that I may be forgiven. It does not matter how long, for I am still here.
Lead us not into temptation -- away from anger, pride, hate, jealousy and vengeance. I lift up everything to you, Lord. May Your will be done.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
i have to write this, gahuot na jud ako dughan, heaven help me naglisod na ko ginhawa
ngano complicated man au ang gugma? why do we have to be hurt? im so tired of being sad and afraid and insecure...
its so hard to understand, di ko na alam papano intindihin eh.
why do i have to share my lover's attention, time and love with another woman, not just any other woman but his Ex of seven years.
until when can i carry on competing for his attention,
until when can i stand the feeling of jealousy and insecurity,
the pain is just too much to bear.
sakit na kaayo sa dughan, i dont know what to do.
maybe this is karma, then i really deserve this.
its so hard to understand, di ko na alam papano intindihin eh.
why do i have to share my lover's attention, time and love with another woman, not just any other woman but his Ex of seven years.
until when can i carry on competing for his attention,
until when can i stand the feeling of jealousy and insecurity,
the pain is just too much to bear.
sakit na kaayo sa dughan, i dont know what to do.
maybe this is karma, then i really deserve this.
optimus prime's words of wisdom
im so tired of being sad and melancholic. i miss my old vigilant and opinionated self and not to mention my pessimism, oh well. enough of that sad posts okay!
for the second time, i watched the transformers with star during the weekend and just when i thought that all hope is gone and that no one believes that there is still goodness left in men, here comes optimus prime in transformers 2007.
Ironhide: Why are we fighting to save the humans? They're a primitive, violent race.
Optimus Prime: Were we so different? They're a young species. They have much to learn. But I've seen goodness in them. Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.
Megatron: Humans don't deserve to live!
Optimus Prime: They deserve to choose for themselves!
Optimus Prime: ... and fate has yielded its reward: a new world to call home. We live among its people now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in secret, waiting, protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage, and though we are worlds apart, like us, there's more to them than meets the eye.
with these words, please allow me to regard optimus prime as an allegory of the Supreme Being, Who never loses hope in His greatest creation, man. cliche as it may seem, if He still believes in us, then probably we can still really make this world a better place.
are you ready to heed the call to prove our worth? then, like the autobots, roll out!
for the second time, i watched the transformers with star during the weekend and just when i thought that all hope is gone and that no one believes that there is still goodness left in men, here comes optimus prime in transformers 2007.
Ironhide: Why are we fighting to save the humans? They're a primitive, violent race.
Optimus Prime: Were we so different? They're a young species. They have much to learn. But I've seen goodness in them. Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.
Megatron: Humans don't deserve to live!
Optimus Prime: They deserve to choose for themselves!
Optimus Prime: ... and fate has yielded its reward: a new world to call home. We live among its people now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in secret, waiting, protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage, and though we are worlds apart, like us, there's more to them than meets the eye.
with these words, please allow me to regard optimus prime as an allegory of the Supreme Being, Who never loses hope in His greatest creation, man. cliche as it may seem, if He still believes in us, then probably we can still really make this world a better place.
are you ready to heed the call to prove our worth? then, like the autobots, roll out!
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
mga tanong, takot at lungkot
may mga tanong sa mundo na kahit paulit-ulit mong hanapan ng sagot, mananatili lang ganun, tanong. basta walang paliwanag, maloka ka kakaisip.
parang mga taong pilit mong inuunawa, pero di mo lang talaga maintindihan o ayaw kasi talaga magpaintindi syo.
parang yung lungkot na bigla na lang babalot sa puso mo ng walang kada-kadahilan, hanggang kainin nito ang buo mong pagkatao.
parang mga bagay na kahit di mo nakikita o nahahawakan, alam mong nandyan yun. lingering in the air, ika nga. pero di mo naman talaga ma-pinpoint kung ano o baka natatakot ka lang din kasi na sa pagbibigay mo dito ng pangalan, mabubuhay at magiging totoo na ito.
parang masamang panaginip na kahit incoherent ang pag-iisa-isa mo sa detalye, damang-dama mo pa rin yung takot o lungkot.
parang mga multo sa buhay mo na kahit ilang ulit na pinaghandaan ng utak at damdamin mo, di ka pa rin talaga handa kapag dumating at nagkaka-anyo. mapapaupo ka na lang sa isang sulok, walang kalaban-laban at puno ng walang katapusang tanong, takot at lungkot.
parang mga taong pilit mong inuunawa, pero di mo lang talaga maintindihan o ayaw kasi talaga magpaintindi syo.
parang yung lungkot na bigla na lang babalot sa puso mo ng walang kada-kadahilan, hanggang kainin nito ang buo mong pagkatao.
parang mga bagay na kahit di mo nakikita o nahahawakan, alam mong nandyan yun. lingering in the air, ika nga. pero di mo naman talaga ma-pinpoint kung ano o baka natatakot ka lang din kasi na sa pagbibigay mo dito ng pangalan, mabubuhay at magiging totoo na ito.
parang masamang panaginip na kahit incoherent ang pag-iisa-isa mo sa detalye, damang-dama mo pa rin yung takot o lungkot.
parang mga multo sa buhay mo na kahit ilang ulit na pinaghandaan ng utak at damdamin mo, di ka pa rin talaga handa kapag dumating at nagkaka-anyo. mapapaupo ka na lang sa isang sulok, walang kalaban-laban at puno ng walang katapusang tanong, takot at lungkot.
Monday, October 01, 2007
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