quotable quote

"In a fast changing environment, it pays to ask oneself: Where am I now? What should I do that I am not doing? Why do I keep doing what I am doing? Is the direction I am heading still valid or do I need to make a "course correction"? Self-mastery begins with self-reflection. Self-reflection begins with learning to control attention."

- Serafin Talisayon, 99 Paradigm Shifts for Survival in the Knowledge Economy

a meme to peel away the layers of you

LAYER ONE:
-- Name(s): melyn catherine, cathy, jickjick
-- Birth date: november 20
-- Birthplace: cotabato city
-- Current Location: makati city
-- Eye Color: black
-- Hair Color: black
-- Height: about 5'3
-- Righty or Lefty: lefty (meaning: can’t dance decently and views are somewhat rebellious?)
-- Zodiac Sign: scorpio

LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: filipino, spanish (according to my dad's father)
-- The shoes you wore today: black, high-heeled, leather
-- Your weakness: holding my emotions
-- Your fears: death in the family and to be left alone by Joth
-- Your perfect pizza: new yorkers
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: earn a law degree (depends on the mood)

LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: sametime: hellow and pssst
-- Your first waking thoughts: I have to go to the bathroom
-- Your best physical feature: eyes? i dunno
-- Your most missed memory: happy moments with Joth

LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: water
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
-- Single or group dates: single
-- Adidas or Nike: adidas
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: lipton
-- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: coffee

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: im asthmatic
-- Cuss: nope, don’t know how and don’t like people who do
-- Sing: nevermind, its embarrassing
-- Take a shower everyday: yep
-- Do you think you've been in love: yes, very =)
-- Want to go to college: again? yes.
-- Liked high school: unforgettable
-- Want to get married: of course
-- Believe in yourself: sometimes
-- Get motion sickness: no, I love traveling
-- Think you're attractive: sometimes
-- Think you're a health freak: maybe
-- Get along with your parent(s): we’re close, very emotionally attached
-- Like thunderstorms: sometimes
-- Play an instrument: used to play the guitar

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: yes
-- Smoked: never
-- Done a drug: never
-- Made Out: uhhhhhmmmm
-- Gone on a date: yep
-- Gone to the mall?: yup
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: no. i can only eat up to 2 per day
-- Eaten sushi: can't remember. I guess so, Kuya Tong’s pasalubong
-- Been on stage: yep
-- Been dumped: nope
-- Gone skating: wanted to
-- Made homemade cookies: no
-- Gone skinny dipping: no
-- Dyed your hair: no
-- Stolen Anything: no

LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes, longest line
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: nope, I have high alcohol tolerance
-- Been caught "doing something": yeah
-- Been called a tease: uhhhhhhhhmmmmm, everyday
-- Gotten beaten up: nope
-- Shoplifted: nope
-- Changed who you were to fit in: me?! i don't think so

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: 27
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 3 (Boy-Girl-Boy); haven’t thought about the names
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: solemn, in an old church with long aisle
-- How do you want to die: at peace
-- Where you want to go to college: spent it at SU, great school
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: a lawyer. haha.
-- What country would you most like to visit: England, to see the ancient, hunted castles, haha

LAYER NINE:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: more than 5
-- Number of CDs that I own: i don't buy cds
-- Number of piercings: 2
-- Number of tattoos: 0
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: national, local and campus – a number of times
-- Number of scars on my body: lost count
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: none, i don't know

flow of realization

Why can’t you concentrate and focus on what you’re reading, eh? Why do you miss him so much? Why do you always long to hug him, huh? Addiction is not good for you, you know.

I often wonder why you love him so much, how you endure one moody episode after another, how you bear with his super seloso and extraordinary kuripot ways, how you keep-up with his special closeness and attachment to his ex-of-eight years. How you have managed to be so patient and understanding in the most hurting, ridiculous and compromising situation is beyond me.

He is sweet, sometimes.
Kind, no, he is and will always be a bully.
Thoughtful, negotiable.
Understanding, no yes.
Childish, depends.
Possesive, slight, he has changed.
Caring, very.
Loving, yes.
Moody, unreasonable, hell yes! I think he has more PMS symptoms than you'd ever have.

I wonder why you love him this much because if he is somebody else’s boyfriend, I don't think he/she would have loved him as much as you do.

Oh, well. You must have gone crazy and very foolish, why you really love him remains a mystery. You’re not exactly trophy-girlfriend material, but when it comes to loving him, Cath, it is so hardcore, unfathomable, deep - it amazes me!

And now, for that dampa treat and three Aga look alike long-sleeves he kept on demanding and asking? Hmmm….

PARTY OF FIVE!!!

FROM Miss Rachelle'S BLOG (hehehe...)

5 THINGS I FOUND IN MY BAG
a) umbrella
b) wallet
c) mobile phone
d) a bottle of Into the Blue by Escada
e) etc, such as kikay kit, pens, company ID, hand sanitizer, lotion

5 THINGS I FOUND IN MY WALLET
a) valid IDs – PRC, SU alumni, PICPA
b) CARDS -- ATM, credit cards, calling card, timezone
c) money (wow!!! i still have)
d) receipts from IIA, Chowking and Goldilocks
e) ID pictures of my self

5 FAVOURITE THINGS IN MY ROOM
a) tv
b) bookshelf
c) my baby joth
d) my bed!!!!
e) my personal desk

5 THINGS IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO
a) work in Wall Street or World Bank
b) tour the world
c) be a housewife and raise lots of beautiful kids
d) be an educator, a professor in a university
e) hit the Gym on a regular basis! ive always wanted to loose all my excess fats but I just don’t have enough motivation to exercise =(

5 THINGS I'M CURRENTLY INTO
a) blogging
b) spending quality and crazy time with my bestfriend....
c) budgeting my funds
d) reviewing for my CIA Exams, may God Bless me
e) missing my family and constantly yearning to go home

Miss Rachelle! Thank you for the idea of this post! I will surely miss you and all our chitchats, huhuhu. God bless to all your future endeavors, keep in touch okay. Take care.

aaaaargh, addict me

Aargh. I feel guilty for writing this when I could be reviewing. Right now, I am probably only getting 50% of what I ought to accomplish...maybe less. It's not like I'm goofing off (more than within reason, anyway)... It's just that I do not have enough time to finish all that needs to be done. I feel like I need to have another 12 hours a day to cover and finish everything. But never mind. I just need to get this out of my system.

I love my Bestfriend. One helluva yes. I love him enough to fight for him, compromise for him, and sacrifice myself for him if need be.

Enough to miss him incredibly when we’re apart, just like now =(, no matter what length of time it’s for and regardless of the distance.

Enough to believe in our relationship, to stand by it through the worst of times, to have faith in our strength as a couple, and to never give up on us.

Enough to want to spend the rest of my life with him, be there for him when he needs or wants me, and never, ever want to leave him or live without him.

Aargh, I am indeed crazy. Call it addiction, but I would not have it any other way.


August 12, 2007, Sunday

i just cant shake that feeling of sadness…

how do you numb yourself from an inevitable misery?
how do you prepare your heart from an expected heartbreak?

how does one become unfeeling? how do you make yourself not to care too much to avoid the pain that might just kill you effortlessly?

can somebody please teach me ASAP?

the way to love someone is to realize that they might be lost

...the very reason why i am letting you know how much you mean to me each time i get the chance to tell you

...the very reason why i never hesitate to tell you how much i love you everyday of my life

...the very reason why i have to let you feel the sincerity of my care and love and the depth of my attachment with you

becasuse i might not be able to do these things once your gone.