THE LOSER’S CREED
(From Francis Kong’s The Early Bird Catches the Worm but the Second Mouse Gets the Cheese)
Here are the 13 principles you need to embrace if you want to be a loser in life.
If it feels good…do it!
Never learn from the past, never plan for the future.
Never take responsibility and never take a stand.
Never show up on time and never commit to anything.
If a commitment is mistakenly made, do not follow through on it.
Always take the easy way out… and whenever possible…make an excuse.
Play it safe.
When in doubt…bail out.
When the going gets tough…retreat.
If at first you don’t succeed…quit.
Expect to reap without sowing and succeed without risk.
Expect something for nothing, and expect to grow without effort.
React to everything.
Abide by these and you’ll surely wind up on the losing end.
Just like everyone else, you need a vision and a mission statement.
The losers say:
Our vision is, “It can’t be done.”
Our mission is, “Coulda, Woulda, Shouda.”
Our motto is, “I, Myself and Me.”
Our mascot is the scapegoat.
Our only principle is never act on principle.
Our only convictions are for crimes we refuse to acknowledge.
We are always quick to speak, quick to judge and slow to hear.
We harbor bitterness, never forgive, and never, EVER say we’re sorry.
We are eternal pessimists, living for the weekend, and looking to retirement. Our mentor is the television.
And still more…
Don’t read books. Get along with other losers. (Birds of the same feather are the same birds.)
Be pessimistic. Look at the world as a hopeless place. Look at your life as a hopeless case.
Be religious but don’t be righteous.
Focus only on money.
Never listen to advice and don’t allow anyone to teach you.
Be critical but never accept criticisms.
Don’t be faithful to your wife.
Lie to your kids.
Drink, eat and be merry for tomorrow you die.
These embody the basic philosophy of the loser.
Every idea mentioned here is in direct opposition to biblical principles specifically designed to empower one against becoming a loser in life.
St. Paul in the New Testament tells us, “Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win…Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor’s crown unless he competes according to the rules.”
And so the principle becomes simple. Follow the word of God (the rules of right living) and be subject to the God of the Word, and only then will you find yourself a winner. And this uncomplicated principle makes up (instead of the Loser’s Creed) the whole of the WINNER’S CREED.
